Hanxiety - a cute term for the existential dread many experience after a night of drinking - started to get very real for me in my late 20s and early 30s. Even after the nights when I managed to have only a drink or two, I woke up with a sense that something had gone terribly wrong. I’d wake up feeling lethargic, unmotivated, and inexplicably helpless and lonely.

In my late twenties and early thirties, I idolized the "Carrie Bradshaw" lifestyle (as portrayed in the popular TV show "Sex and the City"). I saw a successful young single woman with an active social life and believed that drinking alcohol was a key component of being sexy and fun. This led me to believe that having it all means living a life of partying and drinking.

This time, six years ago, I was faced with a pivotal decision. We were approaching the end of January and I’d almost completed my first-ever successful sober stint. Although I’d been hesitant to commit to Dry January, taking a 30-day break from alcohol felt tremendously empowering. Yet, as the month drew to an end, I knew there were two paths I could potentially go down…

You've probably heard the adage that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Your friendships play a tremendously important role in how you get along and evolve as an individual.

While your friendships offer support and camaraderie, they can just as easily keep you stuck or cause you to unwittingly play small.

In my role as a mindset coach, I frequently work with clients who are in the midst of a personal uplevel or reinvention. Perhaps they’re pursuing a drastic career change like a shift to an entrepreneurial venture, a spiritual awakening, or a massive lifestyle change such as electing to go alcohol-free.

If you’re like me - and many of my clients - it’s likely you didn’t have precisely the relationship you might have liked with your mother growing up. There may be many parts of your inner child that feel neglected, unloved, unfulfilled, remorseful, or even deeply upset about your relationship with your mother (or father).

But, since I write for women, and this is Mother’s Day, let’s focus specifically on the relationship you had with your mother. Today, I want to offer you a very special exercise I share with many of my clients who are working to repair their relationship with alcohol, only to find that there is so much more that has contributed to their drinking habits than the presence of alcohol.

While I truly believe that all of our parents did the best they could with the knowledge and resources they had, this sentiment doesn’t matter to a child who is making meaning out of experiences with their initial attachment figure. Yes, I’m sure your parents did have the best of intentions, yet the interpretations of our young mind are what stick with us. These early interpretations are imprinted on our psyche and often dictate how we judge our own worthiness and capability as an adult.

About four years ago, I found myself wondering if there was something more to life than the mundane hamster wheel I was stuck in. Don’t get me wrong, I had it pretty good. I was successful by all observation. I had an active social life, a roof over my head. I was in good shape and good health. Yet, it felt like something was missing...and all of my peers seemed utterly unaware (which made me question the feeling even more; shouldn’t I just be satisfied?). I wasn’t depressed, yet I wasn’t entirely happy.

I’ll be honest, I hesitated to write this article or speak-up about the pervasiveness of wine mom culture. After all, I’m not a mom. I don’t know what it’s like to navigate the stress and uncertainty of motherhood, particularly in times like these where you face prolonged isolation at home with your kiddos. I know a lot of moms are “relying” on wine right now. Who am I to suggest otherwise? I understand that it’s stressful. I do. And I understand your particular brand of kiddo might not be what you signed up for, yet you did sign up for it and certainly with the intention to love and grow a spectacular human being, right?

At the time I’m writing this, we’re just a few days into the recommended onset of suggested “social distancing” as a result of the Coronavirus outbreak.

As I made my obligatory trip to the grocery store to stock up on a few supplies, I watched as people filled their carts with extra wine bottles, preparing for the possible period of isolation, I thought, “Wow, there has truly never been a better time to be sober...I’ve literally been training for this.”

So, while many are freaking out at the prospect of social distancing, I’m realizing that my alcohol-free lifestyle is going to serve as an amazing tool as we’re encouraged to practice social distancing. I’m embracing this time as a necessary mandate to look within and slow down. But, I’ve also spent the last three years doing the work to get to a point where the prospect of being mostly alone in my home isn’t frightening to me.

However, I know there are several of you who don’t yet share my same sentiment. I know that the prospect of being isolated is daunting.

The good news is that I’m here to reflect back to you the goodness that is being alcohol-free. So, whether you’re currently alcohol-free or just sober-curious, I’d love to share with you how I’m choosing to look at being alcohol-free as an absolute gift during times like these.

I’ve written a lot over the past three years on the topic of sobriety and why I think it’s one of the raddest things ever. It is undeniably the foundational decision that has led to every accomplishment, joy, and triumph I’ve had since.

Making the decision to remove alcohol completely from my lifestyle was not an easy one. I faced a ton of head-trash and social programming that had long convinced me to stay stuck in my patterns. If you’ve been considering giving up alcohol, you’ve probably had a similar fear-based track reeling in your head:

• Who will I be as a non-drinker?

• How will I have a social life if I don’t drink?

• What will I do at weddings? Parties? Happy Hour? Vacation?

• How will I relax after a long day? Celebrate after a big win at work?

When it comes to navigating the world alcohol-free, the struggle is absolutely real.

I write a lot about navigating the singles scene as an alcohol-free woman. But, a large portion of the women I work with are married or in long-term relationships and I’d be remiss if I didn’t offer some tools for some of the most common questions I receive from this crowd.

Many times, the women I work with express fear or frustration associated with the fact that they are changing their relationship with alcohol...and their romantic partner is not.

Behind the Scenes of my 5-Day Kitchari Cleanse

When I was asked if I wanted to participate in a 5-day Kitchari reset, I honestly didn’t know what Kitchari was, but I said a fast, “HELL YES” because it was being hosted by the owner of Curcuma - the most special little food truck here in Austin.

Doing an Ayurvedic cleanse was a no-brainer for me. While I don’t follow it fully, I love and deeply trust Ayurvedic traditions. Overall, I knew we’d be following deep-rooted practices, not some posh, quick-fix detox.

If you’ve kicked off the new year by taking a break from alcohol (or are just taking a break from drinking in general, really), you might be wondering, “now what?” when it comes to your drinking habits and your overall relationship with alcohol. You might even be counting down the days until you can have a sip of your favorite boozy cocktail or a glass of wine. 

Before you start making too many plans, I want to encourage you to take a moment to reflect back on why you took the month off of alcohol in the first place…