“Alcohol doesn’t make things more interesting; it makes your mind stupid so that things that would otherwise have bored it are suddenly enough to occupy it.”

Hi, I’m Amanda and I’m a high-achiever. I’m the kind of gal who has always looked like she had it together from the outside looking in. Yet, I spent years struggling to get where I wanted in my career, romantic relationships, friendships, finances, and personal development, all-the-while having a bit of a “woe is me” attitude because I couldn’t understand it. 

You see, I was a good person, I was smart, I was driven, well-spoken, healthy and fit. I was doing the same things as everyone else but didn’t feel like I was getting anywhere. Somewhere in my late 20s, I found myself heart-broken, over my job, and stuck in a town with little promise. 

I did my first and last Dry January nearly three years ago in 2017. I say “last” ironically as it was the catalyst for me to give up alcohol for good...so technically every January is Dry January now.

Since then, I’ve become an advisor and mentor to ambitious, high-achieving women who want to change their relationship with alcohol. Many of them begin their journey working with me as a part of Dry January. Each year, I see an influx of optimistic souls who hope to transform their relationship with alcohol using Dry January as their magic bullet. 

As someone who has consciously watched this process unfold, I’m here to set the record straight for you by sharing what most people get wrong about Dry January...and how you can get it right.

And Why Is It Such A Problem?

My teacher, Jolene Park (and notable expert on the topic) defines gray area drinking as “the space between the extremes of rock bottom and every-now-and-again drinking.” 

A few years ago, I found myself fumbling through the gray area, not quite sure why I was doing all-the-things, yet unable to get the results I wanted in my life. From the outside, it looked like I had it all together. I was an intelligent, successful, attractive, fit, high-achieving woman. I had a good job, car, house...you know the story. But, on the inside, I was secretly questioning my relationship with alcohol. Maybe you’ve found yourself in the gray area too...do any of these sound familiar?…

Spirit-Free Options for Keeping Spirits Bright

If you’re alcohol-free or sober-curious, the hustle and bustle of the holiday season can make it both a tempting time to drink as well as an unusually alienating time to avoid drinking.

The first step to surviving the holidays alcohol-free is managing stressors and anxiety during the holidays is a necessary step. No worries, I’ve got a free guide as well as a free holiday challenge support group to help you here.

The second step is to arm yourself with fun and festive alcohol-free options so that you’re not left drinking seltzer water all night! Whether you’re looking for an easy substitute or a full-blown fancy mocktail, I’ve got you covered! Check out some of my favorite sources for tasty recipes, shopping recommendations, and products below.

How I Feel Being Around Drinkers As An Alcohol-Free Advocate

If you’re currently alcohol-free or on the path of sober curiosity, you’re bound to have others inquire as to how you feel about being around other people who are drinking. While I encourage you to form your own opinions and feelings on the topic, I wanted to share my perspective because it’s evolved quite a bit during my time as a non-drinker).

Here’s the short version: I don’t mind if other people drink around me. I’m not a prohibitionist and I’m not at all triggered by alcohol (I gave it up by choice and truly no longer desire it). I’m genuinely not bothered if people are drinking around me, but my opinion now has more layers than that. I have a more developed narrative of thoughts that run through my head depending on the type of drinkers and scenes I’m around. This is how I break it down:

For years, I’d get the Sunday Scaries. That feeling of anxiety that set in when I started to think about going back to reality after the weekend. I’d have a sense of sadness and dread. It would be difficult to wind down and fall asleep on Sunday night. The anxiety would spill over into Monday morning as I’d trudge back into the office...have you been there?

Typically, I’d be fading out of a hangover that started at happy hour on Friday night. I’d meet up with my other young, successful contemporaries and we’d lament about the workweek with a few cocktails, eventually staying up until the late hours of the evening. 

Often, we’d each rise the next morning feeling less-than stellar and start a plan to meet up for brunch (read: mimosas and bloody Mary’s) to quell our hangovers, perhaps repeating the entire saga for Saturday night.

I never questioned this process...it’s just what single people in their 20s and 30s did. We were all successful, properly functioning people who’d unwind and celebrate the week by tying it on hard during the weekend...again, I ask: Have you been there?

If so, let me share my two-part antidote for beating the Sunday Scaries with you. But first, let me warn you that my approach goes against the grain just a bit. But, if you’re curious and brave and have even the tiniest bit of a feeling you are meant for something extraordinary in this life, I invite you to keep reading with an open mind.

This weekend I had the pleasure of hearing a wonderful talk about mindfulness by a local female entrepreneur who I deeply admire. In her work, she often speaks to corporate offices whose team members would benefit from interrupting their daily grind with a bit of mindfulness. Indeed, mindfulness can help you to re-wire your brain and shift the way you respond to everyday stressors.

I believe that everyone can benefit from mindfulness practices and that it’s so valuable to have our minds open to new and healthy ways of processing our realities. There’s only one problem...I also note that many of the organizations who bring in mindfulness practitioners and other self-care experts tout company kegs, bar carts and frequent happy hours as benefits to being a part of their company culture.

Why What You’re Experiencing Is Completely Normal

If you are on a journey to change your relationship with alcohol, I see you and I feel you because I’ve been there too. Although now I’ve made a confident decision that drinking no longer contributes anything to my life, I remember very well my days as a sober curious woman who wished deeply I could have a take-it-or-leave-it relationship with alcohol. I remember wondering if I was the only one silently questioning my relationship with booze and experiencing awful anxiety after I drank. I wondered if people would think I had a problem if I were to quit. I sat paralyzed in indecision for quite some time before making the decision to take a break in January 2017.

During my journey to find freedom from alcohol, I’ve noted that there are four distinct stages you go through when changing your relationship with alcohol. I’d love for you to read these and share with me where you are now:

Today - September 29th, 2019 - is my 1000th day free from alcohol. I’ll be honest, I don’t track my days anymore because not drinking is just part of my lifestyle...it’s just something I don’t do. Miraculously, it’s also something I don’t have any desire to do...I never thought I’d be here.

Hi, my name is Amanda and I’m not an alcoholic. In fact, back in my drinking days, I was what you would have considered a run-of-the-mill social drinker. I drank just like everyone else in my social circle: a glass of wine with dinner here or there, happy hours, social events. But, as a single, thirty-something - the social events were plentiful. There’d be dinner and drinks with friends and a round of bar hopping on Friday night followed by brunch on Saturday to recover before being productive (or at least attempting to) for a few hours and going back out Saturday night.

Plus, my best tips for upping your sleep hygiene game and getting great sleep without a nightcap.

I took prescription sleep aids for more years than I’d like to admit. I had tremendous anxiety when it came to the thought of not being able to get to sleep. I was easily frustrated by my mind that would not seem to quiet itself enough for me to rest. Long story short: I know what it’s like to struggle with sleep. I know how tempting an “easy solution” can feel when you think you’re a “bad sleeper”.

Real talk: I’m not a seasoned travler. I spent my summers in the Midwest going on weekend driving vacations. I didn’t get on a plane until graduate school and didn’t leave the country until after I’d turned 30. I’m only just getting into the groove when it comes to knowing what types of travel I’m into. Sometimes, travel seems intimidating and I’ve been grateful to have so many willing travel buddies to guide me and share experiences with me over the past few years.

In the last few months, however, I’ve really been slipping into a season of introversion and desiring to spend more time with myself and those with whom I have really close soul connections. When it became quite obvious recently that it was time for a getaway, I made the conscious choice to travel alone. I booked a last minute trip to Tulum, Mexico (read more about my travel experience and recommendations here) with the clear intention of reconnecting with my intuition, which I’d lost sight of during a recent season of business.

I visited Tulum for the first time in May of 2017. I’d heard so many wonderful things about this destination being the boho-travelers dream. However, the all-inclusive resort I stayed at for a friend’s wedding was nothing like the Tulum I’d been told about.

Just two years later, in May 2019, I decided to venture back for my own solo exploration of this magical beach destination. The purpose of my trip was to unplug, rest, relax, and experience the culture of this beautiful place. If you’re in need of a refreshing solo trip, Tulum is your destination - here is my guide.

How a Breakup with Booze & Boys Helped Me To Truly Love Myself

I walked into the dimly-lit theater and apprehensively took my seat. At 31, this was the first time I’d ever treated myself to a movie solo. My thirty-first year would be full of many firsts. This was my first of many dates with myself.

The catalyst behind this newfound relationship with little old me was born out of necessity. It was only a few months before that I’d made the decision to take a break from alcohol. A “party girl” in my 20s, I’d had a sudden sense that my life might be better without it. So, as terrified as I was to navigate the world without a substance that had given me the confidence to date in the first place, I listened to my intuition and broke up with booze.

Little did I know that eliminating alcohol from my life would fuel one of the most intense and important periods of personal growth I’m sure I will experience in my lifetime.

A few things you’ve got wrong about taking a break from booze + some good news.

You read the title: Giving up alcohol for Dry January isn’t an accomplishment. I know, because I did it. Two years ago, I decided I couldn’t keep living the, work hard / play hard, mimosas made me do it, 5 o'clock somewhere, party-girl lifestyle I’d kept up for most of my 20s. It was becoming exhausting, mundane, boring, and I could sense that the lifestyle was the single most concrete habit interfering with having the career, relationships, and fulfillment in life that I deserved.

I grew up in an area of the Midwest where “Wild Turkey Wednesday” was a thing...never heard of it? Well, it’s where you drown yourself in shots of Wild Turkey the Wednesday before Thanksgiving as a way to kick off the holiday season.

Now, I never even liked Wild Turkey, yet I participated in this senseless activity because I thought it was fun. What wasn’t so fun was waking up on Thanksgiving day with an incredible hangover hoping to find some greasy food to bring me back to life before it was time to have Thanksgiving dinner. These days, my holidays look a little different. As I approach my second holiday season as a non-drinker, I wanted to share some reflections and observations about how life has changed. With the holiday season approaching in mere days, I know there will be many temptations to imbibe and many stressful opportunities that would have led a previous version of me to conclude that I “deserved” a drink. Here are five reasons I’m thankful to be a non-drinker this holiday season.

Nestled against a backdrop of Colorado’s scenic mountains, just outside of Estes Park, Colorado, you’ll find a serene little spot called Dao House. With its sprawling grounds, log cabins and rustic lodge, it was immediately clear that Dao House was the place I’d gone searching for when looking for a place to go for reflection, inspiration, and relaxation.

Dao House hosts personal retreats, group retreats and weddings at their rustic venue, sat in a peaceful valley facing a breathtaking view of Longs Peak. During my stay, I got a sneak peek at several of their restorative services as well as their Artist’s Residency Program (which I can’t wait to return for).

…And Three Tough Questions I Had To Ask Myself

My name is Amanda. I’m a single, social, thirty-something living in Austin, TX. I’m also alcohol-free. I describe my journey as “spontaneous sobriety” because I didn’t identify as having a “drinking problem” (though, as you’ll read, that doesn’t mean my drinking wasn’t a problem).

A former social drinker (read: party girl), I’ve candidly discussed my alcohol-free lifestyle quite a bit over the last few years. What I haven’t shared in detail is how much I struggled as social or “gray area” drinker.

In my opinion, there’s nothing better than a quiet day in the country, spent sitting by the water. I’m always dreaming of spending the day soaking in the views and reading by the pool or lake. I love the convenience and excitement of living in a great city like Austin, but long for time to disconnect and relax in the country.

Located on Lake Austin, Lake Austin Spa Resort is perhaps the most lush expression of my weekend dream. With ample lake shore views, a scenic country setting, mature trees, foliage, and...oh yeah, a beautiful spa, two restaurants, and amazing accommodations, Lake Austin Spa Resort is the ultimate spot for a day away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life.